No seriously, I do. But I’ll get to that in a minute.
Denis and I went to the Columbus zoo this past weekend because admission was half off and mostly because it was BEAUTIFUL outside. I had to…had to…be outside last weekend, couldn’t waste the 65 degree weather on another winter indoor weekend!
Back to me being magical. It all started like it did with Harry, Harry Potter that is. Remember? He went to the zoo and ended up setting a boa constrictor lose without meaning to? Okay, well I didn’t actually let a giant, man eating snake out…I would pee my pants, but I did have this way of making the animals do whatever I wanted them to. Seriously, I would stand at their exhibits and say, “Move!” Or sometimes, “Come on, little elephant move! You can do it!” And you know what would happen? They would obey me…not even joking…worked every time. From now on, I give you permission to call me “Dumbledora”.
Don’t believe me? I have proof. Watch.
Exhibit A – I told the Polar Bears to play
Dirty, “Show off.”
Dirty, “You’re an idiot.”
Cleaner, “Get in here bro…water is nice. And you stink.”
Dirty, “Oh no you didn’t!”
Cleaner, “Oh look there’s my girl, Cleanest! Give me some sugar Baby!”
A Cleaner Dirty, “Get a room. P.S. Now that I took a bath, does my name still have to be “Dirty”?”
Exhibit B – The time I told the Elephant to wave
“Here I’ll do a trick for you too!”
Exhibit C – When I told the brown bear to look…he looked, of course.
Exhibit D – Asked the Grizzly bear to come over by me so I could see him better
“Okay, okay I’m coming…give me a sec.”
“Yo girl, what chu want?”
And there were these two flamingos that totally got in the big cat fight when we were there. I admit, I didn’t tell them to do that, but it was funny.
Exhibit E – The time I told the Gorilla to stay completely still so I could take a picture…
This was hilarious. The gorilla could have literally been a stone statue. It was just sitting there staring right at me. And then I say to it, “Hold on, I gotta get my camera.” As soon as I pointed my camera at it to take a picture (I swear I could almost hear it laughing and saying “Yeah right chick”) the gorilla did a 180 and turned its back to me. I snapped the picture in the process of it turning its back to me. HAHAHA! It was my favorite moment!
It was a fun day!
PS Here’s some nasty bats that Denis was fascinated with. Boys.